dormerportal

The point of no return

2008-04-02T23:42:00.002+01:00

What is the point of no return?

The point is? Keep going.

There, now you've passed the point of no return

That's the point.

Dark nights

2007-11-22T21:42:00.000Z

Gather round the fire,

Look not into the shadows.

Listen to the words

That distract you from the dark.

Here's a tale spun,

A tall and lofty yarn,

Or wisdom disguised

In stories and rhymes

Huddle with your clan

Faces lit with leaping flame

All agog and rapt

Beneath the starry sky

The elders are spinning

Bringing magic into being

With words and gestures

Songs, sagas, verse and rhyme

The darkness comes early

The day ends fast

We work in the light

And rest when sun is down

This is the time

The time when we learn

The time we remember

And the time when we dream

Listen to the words

That rise to the sky in sparks

As they fall from the lips

Of tale tellers all

As we gather round the fire

Faces warm but we shiver

As we hear the stories

That have been passed

From long ago

Radio Joy

2007-06-03T01:11:00.000+01:00

Dashboard, dashboard, the dormerportal dashboard .... is walnut. Pretty, pretty, pretty ... and the dormerportal radio self tunes to the song playing in your subconscious. You know that tune that's been teasing you all day in the back of your mind, and whenever you are mercifully spared from mind babble it surges upwards? Well the dormerportal picks that tune up and plays the closing bars of it before launching into the song you didn't even know was going to play on your mind tomorrow. EEEK but fun. So if you like to tease your eardrums and tantalise your sanity come aboard the dormerportal and let the loving licks of your frontal lobes loose on your equilibrium. La, la, la, la la la ,laaaaa, la la la, la la la la. What could it be? And how humiliating if your friends who have popped into the dormerportal with you discover that the very best your inner platter spinner can come up with is something supremely uncool. What's the last thing you would want to be playing on the dormerportal radio right now? The Birdie Song? Carmina Burana? I Just Called to say I Love You? post your all time least wanted embarrassing brain clinging ditty in the comments section.

And all of a sudden the shopkeeper appeared

2006-11-28T22:44:00.000Z

Hop on through the dormerportal kids, there's a new shop there just for you. It's full of lovely things for everyone - whatever you might need you will find there and if it isn't in stock then your obliging shopkeeper will endeavour to obtain it with the greatest expediency. It is an esoteric emporium of delights my dears, such wonders you have never seen. Charms, spells, amulets and potions jostle for space with grimoires, gewgaws and goeties. Here is where you might find that thing you have been searching for all these years but knew not whether it truly existed in this reality. That is the beauty of alternate reality retail therapy, things might exist there that you could only previously imagine. Raid your piggy bank, clear out your building society account, steal the housekeeping and use up the child benefit - here is the garden of unearthly delights, here are the truly needful things, here is where I entice you in and empty your pockets leaving you with only your return dormerportal ticket.

Utensils

2006-11-27T15:48:00.000Z

I was recently asked "What is a spatula?"

In case anyone else was wondering the same thing I have the answer for you:-

It's an unmarried spoon.

I have several spatulas in the psychaedelic van but sadly they are all incompatible, so if anyone else has several single and lonely items of kitchen ware then perhaps we could arrange a spoon speed dating service on the other side of the dormerportal. Let me know.

Happy Hat

2006-11-27T15:27:00.000Z

This is the turquoise hat of truth I am wearing . Although, a tramp once said to me, as I walked past him without giving him any money, "Is that your happy hat?" to which I responded in the affirmative even though I hadn't been aware of the fact previously. Clearly, said tramp was indeed a wise and sagelike seer if he was generous enough to bestow names upon random headgear in this manner without so much as asking me for the wherewithal to buy a cup of tea/tin of cat food/bed for the night/wrap of heroin. Mind you, it's not the first time I have received insight from unfortunates, I was once told by another such down and out that the fact I had middle toes longer than my big toe indicated that I was psychic. I have yet to receive proof of that but I'm keeping my third eye peeled. Speaking of which, I have a question: if we see things clairvoyantly with our third eye does that mean we would hear things clairaudiently with our third ear? Answers on a postcard please.

Goblin Teasmade

2006-11-27T15:16:00.000Z

I had a goblin teasmade
It used to hiss and spit
But when I got my cup of tea
That was the coolest bit

I have a flabby tabby
Who likes to purr and scratch
She loves her ears tickling
We are a perfect match

I have a lot of cushions
Fluffy, furry and silk too
I like to pile them up
Then jump on them, don't you?

I like to have a giggle
I like to laugh a lot
And if some folks don't like it
Well I don't care one jot

Some people think I'm weird
Some people think I'm odd
I reckon I'm eccentric
Not just a silly sod

I reckon life's for living
For being brave and mad
Although it may cause battle scars
I know I won't be sad

Full Moon

2006-06-11T19:23:00.000+01:00

I see the moon and the moon sees me
I love the moon and the moon loves me

Fly me to the moon and let me jupiter and mars
I want to see what cheese is like amidst the flaming stars
In other words please do chew
In other words parlez-vous

I can sing a dormerportal, can you lick a rainbow?

Fairy Picnic

2006-05-25T21:49:00.000+01:00

Grab yer butties kids, there's a fairy picnic on the other side of the dormer portal right now!

Don't eat or drink anything the fairies offer you though, cos if you do then you might be stuck in fairy land forever - but who am I to interfere with free will. Do what you want, I say - I did warn you though. Oh and by the way, if you are invited to dance and you accept then you might find that you have just given your consent to be married to a fairy prince or princess. And another thing, it's always sunny in fairy land, it does rain there sometimes but the sun shines then too, so there are rainbows for you to slide down.

Now, jump in the van and let's picnic like we've never picnicked before. Watch your wicker basket on my upholstery though, it's real moquette.

No, you don't need any money, everything's free in fairy land too. Well, I say free - I mean you still have to pay for things, but not necessarily with money. You'll see soon enough.

Summer rain

2006-05-16T21:54:00.000+01:00

This afternoon I went out in the summer rain with an umbrella to keep my head dry but purposely wearing thong sandals so my feet would get wet - if you've never done this then I can highly recommend it. I was going to the shops to buy a newspaper - not so I could read it you understand, just so I could use it as a cat litter tray liner. Mind you the be-furred ones might read it - have you ever noticed that they read things through their bottoms? Put a newspaper on the floor and try to read it, the cat will always come and sit on it, so that's the conclusion I've come to. Sometimes they also go out of the room and come running back in again so they can jump on the newspaper and use it as a sledge. I might try that too actually; especially if the dormerportal was on the fritz, bit like a jump start kind of thing. I'd have to remember to take a piece of newspaper with me though in case it was still not starting properly on the way back. Just because, the alternate reality might be one where I hadn't bought a newspaper - or the alternate reality cat might have been reading it. Through it's bottom.

2006-05-16T13:18:00.000+01:00

I'm holding onto this table to stop it floating away

alternate cat reality

2006-05-16T13:02:00.000+01:00

I get to my alternate reality through the dormerportal of course but the cats seem to get to theirs through my shoe cupboard. I think the journey back was a bit bumpy once cos I found cat sick in my zip up ankle boot.

Have you ever

2006-05-16T12:06:00.000+01:00

stayed up all night with the sole purpose of hearing the dawn chorus?
Have you ever picked up a pebble because it asked you to?
Have you ever decided that it wasnt just your imagination, that yes you were woken by someone saying your name in the middle of the night when you were in the house alone?
Have you ever put more clothes on instead of closing the windows because you couldn't bear to be shut off from the outside?
Have you ever noticed that time does actually stop sometimes?
Have you ever made yourself jump when you passed a mirror cos you wondered who that was?

2006-05-16T01:09:00.000+01:00

Merry be got

I am robin's son,

I am hood's son,

I am john's son,

I am the merry be got.

I am the fruit of the greenwood marriage.

Do not tell the priest of my parents art,

for he would call it a sin,

for they have been out in the wood's all night,

a-gathering summer in,

aye a-gathering summer in.

Be you married already my sweets then lay your gold ring to one side,

and if you be not a-promised my heart then you will be free to decide

for tonight you can dance in the greenwood my dear,

tonight your are puck's blessed bride.

Pick and you choose of the young and old flesh,

for it be yours for the taking

and if the sun rise while you still are creating

then all the better for the good land's a-making.

You, precious one are the bride of the sun and he will be what you will.

For if you are true to the land being anew then all will be well my sweeting.

And when you have dozed pon your mother's soft bosom

and risen with the dawn's early light

then dance my dear heart cross the burgeoning fields

with your footsteps so blessedly light.

Bring the sun and the rain and the gentle soft breeze to spread all the life here asunder.

May it divide and replenish all those who would thirst and desire for what they do hunger.

Be bold my young child,

my merry be got,

the fruit of the god and the goddess.

Spread joy in your path and never forget that your innocent song is the one truth.

the further in it goes

2006-05-15T23:18:00.000+01:00

the bigger it gets. How now. My child is a silent one and strange. How is it that the peals of the bell are not heard. But by me ... they are the clarion to my consort's call. He is by tree and hedge and gathering mist heard but by clamour and prattle and steam of dross not taken heed. Gladly is this the state that be. Say I. For I would not wish that they the polyester prating penultitude could hear his jubilant dulcet spakings. They are for mine hear ears only. Truebitude. kisses.

2006-05-15T23:08:00.000+01:00

Is there a banging on the window of your mind? Is there a rattling on the doorways to your soul? Fear not. It is only the timely hand of fate reminding you that ignorance is not bliss, that the opium of the masses is a bitter pill indeed but you need not swallow it my dearest one. No, you can spit it in your palm, hide it neath your pillow and swiping your lips of their spittle you can take a deep breath and sigh anew at your leisure. For the future is in your hands, the anchor is a weight upon your arms but the truth is what you make it.

dormerportal

2006-05-15T22:35:00.000+01:00

join the caravan of love. Slide the dormer van doors open onto a portal to the new universe of your hopes and dreams. Here is the vortex that swirls your opportunity. Be not afraid for here is the stepping stone to the stars. Just believe and you will have the courage to continue. This is the gateway, this is the way of the wise - leave your sanity at the door and step in. Flowers and joy and life await you my dear.